Getwellbean

Three years is a long time. I think i'm finished moping and asking why. I will always deny that this was God's will, however. It simply can't be. Its unfair and wrong. You can't tell a crying little girl (like she was tonight) who has lost her mom something even remotely like that. Still, its time to stop asking "why" and start living "what now."

The girls and I miss so many things about Kathleen. The girls miss her hugs and laughs the most. What I miss most about Kathleen is simply her presence. I always knew when she entered the room, even in a crowded basketball gymnasium. She always made me feel better and more confident regardless of what spirits she found me in. It is simply and sadly no longer the same. I miss you Bean....so much.

I agree with you, Mike. I cannot believe that a supposedly all-loving, all-powerful Deity would allow and/or do such horrible things to such amazingly fantastic people.

I don't care how much Kathleen's suffering might, down the road, lead to some discovery or technology or whatever that will help the proverbial "millions" of people. That doesn't take away the fact that SHE herself is still suffering in a way she never, ever deserved, and you and her children are ALSO suffering in a way you certainly never, ever deserved.

So, I must humbly disagree with the lady who keeps saying "God is good... all the time." I'm sure she's a great person, and I certainly wish nothing but the best for her son, but the way she keeps saying that over and over again, it almost sounds like she's trying to CONVINCE herself that it's still true -- because to me, it sure does not look or sound like it's true in her life, just as it doesn't in yours.

As you might guess from all this, I'm not a particularly religious person. I am, however, very into spirituality, and I have been, and will continue, to send good thoughts/energies to Kathleen, you and the kids. I think about her often.  

_____________________

I also totally agree with you Mike and also the previous commenter.

I also am not religious but spiritual. If there was a God, then he would not will these things. He would not cure only those people who had people praying extra hard for them. I find it very sad when people say that a person recovered or survived because their prayers were heard. Does that mean that I didn't pray hard enough for Nicola to survive her accident. Or maybe there weren't enough people around me also praying ?
No -- life is what it is and there are no answers and once we stop looking for them and just look for a way to get through life no matter what it throws at us - then we find the answer.  

_____________________

Dear Mike, I write these comments with tears in my eyes. I think I do know your pain. We are seven months short of our 3 yr mark. I do not believe it was God's will for my son to be assaulted and to go into cardiac arrest any more than I believe it was God's doing that Kathleen and your family be suffering like you are. I pray every day for Kathleen to be brought back to her children and to you. My son also has children, three beautiful children. Austin is 11, Rylie Jayne is 7 and Jacob is 6. Jacob told me the other day, "Mammaw, I sure wish things could be like they were before daddy got sick." I cried all evening over that one. And I see sadness in Jeffrey's eyes when his kids love on him and then walk away. He can't see them or talk to them, or hug them without us actually putting his arms around them (his hands are so contracted)
He can hear, and he is able to answer us with blinks. Is this what I want for my son. DEFINITELY NOT!!!! I miss my son's bright eyes and sweet smile, and his dry sense of humor. I miss seeing him play with his kids, or coming up to me and giving me a big hug. He always gave me my strokes. But, I also know that I could not go on without the strength that I gain from my faith. I could not put one foot on the floor in the morning if I could not continue to hope for my son. I, as you, do not know wht the future holds for us. I am 57 yrs old and I don't know what will happen to Jeffrey when something happens to me. But, God is good ....all the time. He did not do this to my son. In His love,
Charlene Parker/Jeffrey's mom
Lorena, TX
charprkr2@aol.com  

_____________________

I hope you realize what true love and grace you have shown during this tragedy. I also believe we can never know why anything happens, it will always be a mystery. Yet it is how we rise to the occassion that ends up molding us into the human beings we are.
Thinking of you, Kathleen, and the girls.  

_____________________

Dear Mike,

I do not have words that will ever console you in anyway. But my heart goes out to you. I feel it in my own heart the grief of loosing your life partner, your best friend, the one love in your life, ... the sense of helplessness at what your loved one is going through. The sorrow of all the things lost. The pain of seeing your child growing without a parent… Tragedies happen and we were struck by chance with the unthinkable. And now what? I struggle with it every day. I can not bear the thought of this life for me and Chris forever. I do not see any miraculous light at the end of the tunnel. I was just so down after the holidays. And a friend wrote me and asked me: “What would Chris say to you if he could speak now? What would he be telling you?” and I was not 100% sure. But in his sadness for all the losses he suffered, I think he would tell me how much he loved me and how much he did not want me to suffer. He would have wanted Gabriel and I to be as happy as possible under the circumstances.

If I were on Chris’ place right now… I’d so much wish he would not be feeling the pain I feel in my heart and I would so much wish him to be happy with Gabriel… and off course I am crying my eyes out writing this… What I wanted to say to you is … I hope you find some happiness in the midst of this tragedy, with your children and for your children and Kathleen. She would tell you what a great job you are doing at everything and try not to hurt as much…

I don’t know if I make any sense but wanted to let you, Kathleen and your beautiful daughters and family know that I am thinking of you all.

With love,

Koo, Chris, Gabriel  

_____________________

I'm not saying that God doesn't exist. I'm only saying that to hear all the time that He designed for this to happen makes no sense to me as it isn't fair to her, her daughters, or our entire family.  

_____________________

Dear Mike, I have had you, Kathleen, and the girls on my heart all night. I do not doubt your faith in God. You could not be who you are without your faith. When I am alone with Jeffrey, I too, cry out (not just pray, but scream) at times, "Please, pleae Lord, heal my son." We will continue to pray for you all. God is good .... all the time.
Charlene  

_____________________

This is absolutely NOT God's will.

Horrible things happen to wonderful people all the time, but it doesn't mean God is the one doing it.

It's usually because someone somewhere has misused their free will. (politics, polution, wars, selfishness, uncaring doctors, etc)

God IS good, all the time. There is no shadow of turning with Him. He is all light. Period. Anyone who thinks otherwise does not understand the true nature of God.  

_____________________

Mike, it is clear that you have taken the guidance of your heart for the past 3 years. I believe there is no better voice to hear. I hope that it will continue to serve you so well. with love, Lorelei  

_____________________

First of all my thoughts and prayers are with you and Kathleen's family and friends. Our family has gone through a lot of tragedy the last 5 years and it's hard not to be angry at God, so I hear you for sure.

I realized though; at least for me, that God is like a father watching their child playing in a park. It's joyful and fun and then all of a sudden the child falls off of the jungle jim and causes a brain injury. The father didn't cause this to happen to his son; he would have done anything to not have this happen but things just happen sometime and there's no sense to it.

I dont' know why things like this happen, but I do know that it isnt' fair, and looking for an answer will make a person crazy. I've tried to handle tragedy by not skipping through the tulips thinking God is so Good, but I tell him how ticked off I am. I express that it's not right and it's not fair. After I let it out I realize that blaming anyone wont' help my family members; I do ask God to be there for me and to listen, and help guide me and keep me strong, and be there when I'm not.

Everyone is different and there's no right answer. It's easy to be high and mighty and rip God apart, but if you believe in him then you realize faith doesn't mean nothing bad will happen to you; it means that sometimes life sucks, but there's nothing that you can't handle with God. I hope you and yours find your way and my thoughts and prayers are with you.  

_____________________

Post a Comment